How I got here

For my first blog post, I thought I would give a bit more of my personal story and the roads that led me to create this space.

My story: My name is Makenzie and I spent the first 18 years of my life in Normal, IL. Yes you read that right....Normal is as "normal" as a town comes :) Days before the start of my senior year of high school, my whole world flipped upside down. In the early hours of Friday, August 13th, 2010, I found out my sister, Murphy, was involved in a motorcycle accident. A little less than 24 hours later, Murphy was decleared brain dead and we were told she would not survive her injuries. I will never forget that moment as time stood still and life as I knew it completely evaporated.

Prior to Murphy's death, I had only experienced the deaths of my great grandparents as a very young child. I had no idea what grief felt like, how death can consume someone, and how sudden loss can instantly change a family.

There were a few things in that incredibly challenging first 6 months after Murphy's death that shaped my life. First and foremost- the people who stood by me in my grief. Coming from a "smaller" town, a lot of teachers at my high school had also taught Murphy or knew my story. This turned out to be a blessing, as so many of them loved and supported me through the darkest year of my life. And then there was my high school counselor, Mrs. Karrin Hawkins. If I needed to cry, her door was open. If I needed to scream, her door was open. If I needed a nap, her door was open. She was non-judgemental, steadfast, and simply there when I needed her most. She never had an agenda for my healing and allowed me to grieve in my own way. Mrs. Hawkins interactions with me during my senior year influenced me to eventually pursue a master's degree in school counseling.

I also experienced first hand how isolating it can be to be a child griever. My friends had no idea what to say to me, didn't realize grief was a lifelong journey, and often (unintentionally) left me feeling alone or misunderstood. Additionally, due to the sudden nature of my sister's death, I instantly began to realize how fragile life truly was. I was stripped of that carefree teen spirit, which didn't align well with being a high school senior.

A year after my sister's passing, I moved 7 hours south to Memphis, TN, to attend Rhodes College and play collegiate softball. Getting out of Normal was probably the healthiest choice I made in my grief journey, as it gave me an escape from the constant reminders of my loss and allowed me a chance to grow independently. After graduating, I stayed in Memphis to went on to obtain a Masters in School Counseling and Graduate Certificate in Clinical Mental Health.

While I wish that was end of my grief story, it sure isn't. In a span of 5 years after starting my first job as a school counselor, I lost my grandparents (who raised me in their home ), my uncle, and my beloved mom. I became the only living member of my childhood household at the ripe age of 29. Over the years, I've learned a whole lot about grief from my personal experiences. I've also found healing in becoming a grief counseling specialist, constantly staying abreast of best practices and actively engaging in hundreds of hours of training to best support individuals through loss.

The four people who shaped my grief journey (Mother (Kelly), Sister (Murphy), & Grandparents (Jim & Nancy)

In addition to grief, I also have always been interested in crisis counseling and targeted violence prevention after getting a glimpse of both in graduate school. Thanks to the training and opportunties my wonderful mentor, Dr. Nancy Kelley, provided me, I began actively working school based threat cases and leading my school district's crisis response team in 2017. Since then, I have worked over 200 threat cases, became a NTER Master Trainer in Behavioral Threat Assessment through the Department of Homeland Security, and have been blessed with the opportunity to train school districts across the nation in threat assessment and crisis response.

The purpose of this website is to offer educators, school counselors, social workers, and therapists resources to best support individuals in crisis. Whether it involves a death, a mass-violence event, natural disaster, or threat response, we must have plans in place to provide trauma-informed care for everyone involved. I look forward to what lies ahead and would be honored to work with you!

-Makenzie (The Crisis Counselor)